When we lose Gods Children, will we ever heal?

3 yrs and 1 day ago my beautiful niece Casandra Diane gave birth to a beautiful baby boy named Jacob Daniel Delozier. When he was barely a day old I happened to be in town grabbing some supper and my sister came running to me that something had went wrong and Jacob had to be life flighted to a hospital better prepared to take care of babies that tiny and that Jacobs mommy was right behind him in a car on the way there. At first I was a bit taken back n had flashes back as I had lost my infant son in 1987 due to a car accident. So while the situations were different, I could seance the fear my young niece was going through.  At the same time my niece had 2 other small children a little girl and boy that were with my mother and we were trying to figure out who was going to help my mom car for them.

I simply went home got my clothes together and told my husband he knew where I was and right now those 2 little ones needed someone to help grandma take care of them while Jacob was was in the hospital.  

Not for a minute at that time did I think Jacob wouldn't be returning home at that point.

Later we learned that Jacob had been born with an undetected CHD congenital heart defect. In Jacobs case it was TGA transportation of the greator arteries. Basically it meant the little guys arteries in his tiny heart were completely reversed and they would need to keep him stably till he reached 7 days then the specialist would go in with Gods guidance and make every attempt to repair Jacobs tiny precious little heart.  Well, the 7 days came and the surgery was performed and after a few days or so Jacobs mommy thought things had calmed down somewhat enough that she could at-least make the 2 hour trip home and see her 2 older children Malachi and Micah so she could give them some reassurance that there little brother was ok, he just had to be in the hospital longer to get stronger.  Needless to say, that's not how it went she got a call to rush back to Jacob as he was in trouble n needing his mommy. 

Complications had came up. This time my niece told me aunt Brenda, I hope you can help out with the kids because I really need all the help I can get right now. I assured Cassandra she could stay right at her sons side as long as need be and I would make little videos of the kids playing on the computer and send to her on Facebook so she could keep in touch with them and still be at her newborn sons side. I thought back to 1987 and while the situation was different, My little son was over 2 hours away with his dad after we were in a car wreck while myself and my daughter were in another hospital.  It was through a phone call that I was told my son did not survive. To not be able to hold and love and comfort your child. I don't wish that on any parent.

We spoke back n forth on the phone as well as on facebook and there were just times I could get a sence of how good or how bad things were by how the facebook chat would go.  Sometimes she would pop on quickly to ask how the kiddos were doing and I would give her an update. I had a web cam so they loved watching themselves on camera n make movies for mommy.  But then after a couple of episodes of baby Jacob flatlining for several minutes up to hours on end, we all knew things weren't looking great for the little guy. Though fight as he was he was just so tiny and is little body had been through so much.  

I will never forget my husband had came into my mothers to visit one evening just a couple of days before Jacob finally past and I fought boy did I fight to stay hopeful right up to the very end, My husband and I were sitting together on the couch and I was on the computer and my niece popped up on chat and I said "hey baby girl please tell aunt Brenda some good news?"  Immediately she went off line, it was at that point I knew in my gut she was losing her precious little boy and at the time there was nothing I could say or do.But it was time I start praying for God to please help me find peace and understanding as this was the only way I was going to stay strong for my niece her 2 other children and the rest of the family;    I couldn't bear even the possible chance that Jesus would take another baby from us. I said good-bye to my now Angel Son Shane on July1, 1987 at the tender age of 7 months. How could it be (it couldn't be, that God would call home yet another one of our little babies!)

It was during that time that some of my sisters and brothers that I look to heavily for religious guidance that they turned me to

Ephesians 2:10 NIV

 For we are God’s handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do.

And to this day that has became my lifeverse and I live by it. God prepared me to help those who are in these situations.

Well I know this was pretty deep but I hope it touched some of you. May God Bless You.