My journey back to God..

I am not quite sure to begin but it has been awhile since I have written and I just feel I have so much inside right now that I need to share with you. My life has been a wild ride it would take me days to explain it all but to sum it up I was raised going to church every Sunday, doing the Easter services getting up for Sunrise service which meant 5:30 am. doing the Christmas Eve candle light service where all the children performed a play about the birth of Jesus and we would then again get up on Christmas Day to go to church as well. Now as I grew older and got married and began to have children for whatever reason I attended church less and less. In November of 86 I had my firstborn, a son Shane and as with all moms, I could not have been more full of  love and joy, then in June 87 tragedy struck I was in a car accident and suddenly I no longer had a son.  Now, after what seemed a lifetime of mourning and heartache I then became angry at God. I thought if God were everything I had been taught and people said then how could he strip a mother from her child. I am not proud of it but I began to withdraw for church. My thinking was if there really were a God, he would have been there, he would have saved my child.  In the upcoming years I rebelled like crazy.

As time went on occasionally I would go to church, still reluctant to give in and give myself wold heartily to Our Lord and Savior. As I have blogged before in 2009 my niece gave birth to her son Jacob  and we lost him from an undetected heart defect at just 6wks n 5 days old. All the heartache from losing my son those emotions were all back as if the day I lost my son, however this time I found myself realizing I needed to remain strong because I had a niece who was going through what I had so many years ago and who better than I to support her and help her through this time.

Now as all of this was going on I had turned to many friends and prayer warriors and I remember not one but 2 from twitter my dear friends @spreadingJoy and @mcprodigal who both quoted Ephesians2:10 to me reminding me that who better than I to be there for my niece and support her. It was then that I let go of my anger towards God and I realized that though at times we don't understand why God does what he does and many times we never will but I grabbed hold of what I did understand and that was Ephesians 2:10 and not only my situation with my son, but other situations as well, I take those and turn them into positive things. Nothing gives me more joy than to be able to help others. There were also my family of prayer warriors @worldprayr that lifted me in prayer during my time of hurting when Jacob passed. They to reminded me that God was comforting me and loving me and it was ok to be angry and hurt, he understood, and was always there for me. The one constant in my life was my Lord and Savior. A friend recently told me "God does not comfort us to be comfortable, but so that WE can be comforters. Wow, how true is that. God is amazing.

Well, so that is how I found my way back to the King of Kings and I am so blessed to be loved by him and the feeling of his unfailing love is amazing. 

Thanks for reading this and if I can help you by praying for you or if you need a friend to talk to, I am here. God Bless.